DO YOU PUSH YOURSELF TOO HARD?
DO YOU PUSH YOURSELF TOO HARD?
This is as much a note to self as it is a social post so hopefully it isn’t too solipsistic and hopefully it is helpful and supportive to all those perfectionist creatives out there who work too hard.
I got into photography as a gentle creative release from the pressures I put on myself as a TV creative. The result was that ten years ago I reverse-engineered a happier more successful professional life from doing this is - something I am constantly amazed at and grateful for
But here’s the thing, if you’re a perfectionist, if you pressure yourself too much
You can end up erasing all the joy and value from what you do, from your life.
Imagine arriving at the beautiful Halnaker Wood and Windmill, and instead of just enjoying the beauty of it, you worry about framing and exposure, about whether your shot is a cliche or even worth taking. I mean, crazy, right?
Finally a gap in the diary after the longest run of back to back shooting and editing, and after a day or so of yawning and scratching I was keen to get some fresh air. Jumped in the car early with my camera. I wanted a change, a break, so instead of taking the easy option of London, I dragged myself out to Sussex, stopping first at Halnaker to take in the Windmill and the iconic woodland walk up to it, before a short breakfast in Bosham harbour.
Well to paraphrase Mark Twain, sometimes photography is the best way to ruin a perfectly good walk. I mean it might not have been, if I hadn’t been so ambitious, if I still didn’t have my workaholic perfectionist head on.
I had such big plans, but somewhere along the line none of it happened. The skies weren’t really what I’d hoped for. The vibe everywhere I went wasn’t what I hoped for.
Throughout the day, what I tried to do is what I always try to do, to make the very best of the situation, to make what was there, work for me, to serve what was there, because you have to play the hand you’re dealt.
So while I gnashed my teeth that I wasn’t going to get the lovely cloudy skies I had hoped for at equally iconic (and cliched) Seven Sisters, I did at least try to focus on what I could get, what new shots might be achieved.
Heading on to a blustery Beachy Head, I grabbed a couple of shots and a late lunch. I had hoped to head onto Hastings for sunset, but tiredness and overreaching myself won out.
I turned back, way before the hoped-for sunset, a little tired and dispirited, only to be greeted as I entered London by fabulous golden light and beautiful pink clouds and no energy left to park up and shoot it, or even for that matter, just enjoy it.
Because I had treated my day off like a day of work, as if I were shooting for the Sussex Tourist Board, rather than for me. It was meant to be play.
Do you ever do this? Do you ever spend your a day off working too hard at something - a novel, a script, music, art, a DIY project, maybe even just family life - berating yourself for not being perfect when you could just be having fun?
I’m surprised to be still learning at my age that we need to value play and fun. It may sound like a “first world problem”, but ultimately we have to perform first world functions and pay first world bills. And how can any of us do this unless we are refreshed?
